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Thread Title: Funny EMS sayings
Created On Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:27 PM
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futuremt
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Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:27 PM

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Hey all,
Noticed that alot of you have really great EMS sayings, and wanted to collect them in one place. So put your wildest, wackest, funniest, whateverist EMS and fire too, sayings here. We could all use the laughs. )

"Reality is for those that can't handle drugs"

(oooh pretty swirlies, oops just hit the pink and purple elephant)

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CrazyCanuck
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Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:02 PM

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My instructor had a good term for the use of an Oxygen Cylinder as a means of self defense. "Oxygen Administration via Osmosis".

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Everything fun in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

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gsemt
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Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:12 PM

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I had an instructer that would always rate our findings by saying "So, where does this lie on the good bad scale, good meaning good, and bad meaning bad..."

This is probaly a good place to throw in the B.A.D. pt, too, "body all destroyed." there's another thread that has acronyms, recently...

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10 out of 10 Dr's agree that birth is the leading cause of death.

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kingcomedic
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In my EMT class back in 1990, our instructor was imparting some alphabet soup on us. Remember your As, Bs and Cs... but dont forget D and E. At that time it was disabilities and exposures.

Some said, well what is next? Our instructor responded, FGH... F%^&ing Get to the Hospital. That still brings a smile to my face.

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TRAININGATOEMS
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"Better living through chemistry..."

FUBAR

SNAFU

BITE ME

"Conscious but Goofy"

And my favorite: "Get out of my truck before I throw you out!"

Peace.
RG

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Bamamedic23
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Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:26 PM

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ASW - Ain't Sh@t Wrong

Crispy Critter

-------------------------
Do it early, do it right, do it fast, then hold on for the ride.
CCEMT-P

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MAJESTIC12
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"Doin the Ambulance Dance" The relative or bystander who just has to run out onto the road to show you where to go!
(even funnier at the MVA-gee how did I miss that?)

-------------------------
bortaS bIr jablu'DI', reH QaQqu' nay'
-Old Klingon Proverb
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kevkei
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Quote

Originally posted by: MAJESTIC12
"Doin the Ambulance Dance" The relative or bystander who just has to run out onto the road to show you where to go!
(even funnier at the MVA-gee how did I miss that?)


Even in addition to that, I like it even more when they walk up to the drivers side door and try to open it. I make sure it's locked and try to feverishly find an "invisible" object behind the seat while they wait impaitently followed up with an "oops sorry, I didn't see you there."



-------------------------
Kevin,

From north of the 48th
Alberta, Canada

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MAJESTIC12
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If I'm driving and they do that, I park the oposite to where they point, I let them tell all their story first and then say "You'd better talk to my partner, I'm driving!"

-------------------------
bortaS bIr jablu'DI', reH QaQqu' nay'
-Old Klingon Proverb
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lambsburg122
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Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:50 AM

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forgive me father for I have sinned, but if you let me live through this call I promise I won't do it no more...

-------------------------
Lambsburg122

If you drop a baby, fake a seizure

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NSMEDIC
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Thu Apr 14, 2005 4:08 PM

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and whatever you do Lord, please don't give me strength, I'm liable to kill someone if you do.

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despite the rising cost of living, it remains very popular.

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greshmedic
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Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:59 PM

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Wipe your feet on the way out!

A lovely reference to some of the "classy" homes and establishments that we tend to frequent.

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Before the war on terror, if I saw an unnatended package I used to think "I'll be having that!"

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SoKyMedic
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Sat Apr 16, 2005 3:03 AM

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My two current favorites are as follows:

DDPI: Death Despite Paramedic Interference

and in relation to the massive number of GSW's, a memo was recently posted at work stating the following:

"Attention all ALS field providers, the term GSW is no longer approved for use in the system when charting. It should now be referred to as an Involuntary trans-cutaneous lead bolus"

Sounds like management may actually finally be developing a sense of humor

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"Shallow gene pool" is not a social comment where I work folks, it's a legitimate medical diagnosis

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Dooger
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Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:45 PM

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One of our most common field "diagnosis" (actually recognized by the E/D) is WADAO - Weak And Dizzy All Over. This condition can be either acute or chronic.

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Reservo vita



Village Wallflower

Edited: Mon Apr 18, 2005 at 12:46 PM by Dooger

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futuremt
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Mon Apr 18, 2005 1:00 PM

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you guys are funnier than shat.

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jmp4srs
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Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:56 PM

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Ok -- here are a few of my favorites:

ART -- Assumed Room Temperature

DRT -- Dead right there

LOLFDGB: Lil' Ol' Lady Fall Down Go Boom

NLPR: No Longer Playing Records

HIBGIA: Had It Before, Got It Again

Pharmesutically enhanced personality

Negative vehicle to vehicle interface

FDSD: Found Dead, Stayed Dead



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Smile! It makes people wonder what you are thinking.

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EMTamigo
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Wed Apr 20, 2005 12:17 PM

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LOLLOL = little old lady lying on linoleum

sudden onset gravity attack = fall

Chris, NYS EMT
------------------
Lord give me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the strength to change the things i can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people i had to kill because they pi$$ed me off.

-------------------------
Chris, NYS EMT-P
---------------------
fighting natural selection by day... sending it thank you letters by night

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MAJESTIC12
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SOBSOBSOB

Silly Ol' Bugger, Sitting on Bed, Short of Breath!


"Industrial Diarrhoea": Work gives me the SH*TS!

I'm off work because I've got a problem with my eye- I couldn't see myself coming into work!

-------------------------
bortaS bIr jablu'DI', reH QaQqu' nay'
-Old Klingon Proverb
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futurepadawan
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CTD and high serum porcelin levels -- circling the drain/going down the crapper.
FIG -- found in gutter
unlicensed pharmacutical representatives -- drug dealers
FTF -- failure to fly
FOSitis -- full-of-sh*t-itis

------
http://www.cafepress.com/lightduty for funny EMS apparel.

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ESPARKS
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my favorite PCR abbreviations ;

LOLINAD little old lady in no apparent distress
I I S ignorant inbred syndrome
P S S positive suitcase syndrome
F D R T found dead right there.

:-} Ed

-------------------------
Take care and play safe out there !!!

The dean of common sense

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CotSurferB
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Chief Complaint: Samsonite Syndrome

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jti026
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Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:46 PM

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Quote

Originally posted by: MAJESTIC12
"Doin the Ambulance Dance" The relative or bystander who just has to run out onto the road to show you where to go!


This could be attributed to what the standing attendant does when the driver takes a turn at speed, a.k.a. "Highway Surfin'. " Thank god for handrails.

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"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
- John Steinbeck

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MAJESTIC12
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Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:01 AM

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We have trams in our sate as a major public transport means.

If you've ever riden in one standing and survived without a handrail you are perfectly suited to highway surfing!!!

-------------------------
bortaS bIr jablu'DI', reH QaQqu' nay'
-Old Klingon Proverb
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ESPARKS
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Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:38 AM

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ever walked into a house for a fainting and known with one look that your patient was

P. C .L . pre code looking ???



P.S. i hate trailers !!!

-------------------------
Take care and play safe out there !!!

The dean of common sense

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gtownemtp2b
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Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:55 AM

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Rectal Cranial Inversion
FDGB Fall Down Go Boom.

-------------------------
You just can't fix stupid.

No more EMTP2B
Now just EMTP

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greshmedic
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Laughter is the best medicine, however diabetics should try insulin.

-------------------------
Before the war on terror, if I saw an unnatended package I used to think "I'll be having that!"

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wiseguy4x4
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Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:54 AM

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dfo= done fell out

ctd = circling the drrain

incarceritis= i am in jail and now i dont feel good

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RCMPMedic
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ABFW: airway breathing f*cking walkin

-------------------------
4 members never forgotten

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Meldaku17
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JACOBS - Just A Couple Of BeerS

HIBGIA - Had it before got it again

CPR - Can't Possible Recover

GDRS - Gonna Die Real Soon

And of course my favorite:

Hyperlisteremia - A Common Condition which a unresponsive pt. suffers from excessive amounts of ETOH on board in the form of mouth wash




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ESPARKS
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CPR= casket purchase required :-}

-------------------------
Take care and play safe out there !!!

The dean of common sense

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